People struggle to build a positive self-image and good self-esteem. All these start by developing positive thoughts. To develop positive thoughts you require some checkpoints that include being true to yourself, listening to your inner-self, and maintaining and renewing the spirit of your mind. Most often, you will find that life challenges may push you towards negative thoughts and within the shortest time, you start feeling useless and valueless before yourself and before those who surround you. You will start noticing the negatives life can offer, the valueless friends and relatives can be, the tasteless your work or business can be or even total disbelief in God in case you were a strong believer in Christ. That is how life challenges sometimes behave. Life pushes you to the corner until you feel that nothing is left except the ringing sounds of negative thoughts popping in and out of your mind in whatever you touch, think, or even speak.
Once I was a victim of this. I lost hope and started thinking negatively. My self-image was disfigured and I developed low self-esteem. My energy levels were drastically down. I felt like my humanity was upside down, nothing good came from me. Whatever I touched, the results were negative. I lost almost everything. I lost my close friends, as they could not see anything good coming out of me. Some of my family members and relatives viewed me as a person of no value and I could not be involved or informed on family developments and decisions as they used to do before. My mental strength deteriorated and I reached a point where I lost hope in everything. I could not see anything good in this world. Though I maintained a brave fake face that all is good, internally and mentally I was equal to a dead person.
Today I have good news to share. One day I took a walk along the sandy beaches of Mombasa. I initiated a self-conversation. Speaking to my heart and answering all the questions as I enjoy the cool breeze along the Indian Ocean. During my self-conversations, I noticed that there were two persons involved in the talk. The ‘positive me’ and the ‘negative me’. This is after I had a still voice from my heart speaking to me. Fostine! This is not why you were born. You have been a great man in the past and you can still be greater from now. Do worry no more. Start afresh. You know yourself better. Your life is in your hands today. The future is full of potential. The ‘positive me’ and ‘negative me’ started to debate about my life. At a given level, I felt that I have lost much that I could not recover. The ‘positive me’ kept on pushing ‘you haven’t lost everything, you have just lost a drop. Start afresh. What you have been experiencing are not obstacles but opportunities. Grab them!’ The positive me spoke and spoke. I was listening keenly. After this great mental debate the ‘negative me’ agreed to cross the floor. I found myself sitting under a coconut tree full of joy. The ‘positive me‘ encouraged me to start afresh. I noticed the ‘negative me’ disappearing and ‘positive me’ taking control of my mental strength.
These positive thoughts strategies helped me to come out from the wounded negative thoughts to renewed positive thoughts.
Evaluate your thoughts: Build a positive attitude and view your obstacles as learning opportunities. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. When you feel that, you cannot make it remove the word ‘not’ in your mindset. Be very honest when evaluating your thoughts. Think of your purpose of existence. Reprogram your mind with the right attitude, embrace resilience and transform your behavior when you hear the still voice of positive you speaking to you
Replace Criticism with Encouragement: Do not look much at what others say about you. Check the inner you. Find the strength from within you. Encourage yourself and strive to the peak. Avoid those who do not see anything good in you and develop a new team of people who value you. Many people still value you, open your mind and get in touch with them now.
Do not be angry with others: Forgive all who wronged you and learn the concept of self-forgiveness. Do not forget the wrongs. Let the wounds remain to remind you that love is paramount. When you look at the wounds, be positive and replace the wound with love. Grab the power of love and let it be one of the great pillars of positive thoughts.
Fear is an emotion, faith is an attitude and focus is a choice: The fear in you should give way to faith as you adjust your focus. Focus only on what you can do. This is where to put more energy and requires adequate mental strength.
Work from the inside-out: Speak to yourself, change the inner you. Identify the still voice speaking to you, identify the positive and negative you. Throw away the negative baggage that derails your mental energies. Be happy from inside before you start changing things around you. It is you to change not others to change you. Let others notice the positive changes in your life. Let them see the value in you. You will start receiving their calls again.
Imperfections are opportunities not obstacles: Not everything in life should be perfect. Sometimes things go wrong or people may wrong you. Do not take things personally. Consider all as opportunities in progress. Do not allow the wrongs to influence your thoughts. Stay on track. The terrain may not be perfect but the future is full of potential
You cannot control everything: Do not feel guilty and depressed about things beyond your control. Business deals may go wrong, you may lose your lucrative jobs, salaries can be reduced and your customers may run away from your business, your wife may divorce you, your children may create a barrier between them and you, the community can gossip much about you, your property owner can throw you out from the house you had considered home. Concisely, you may remain zero men or women. Do not worry about things beyond your control. Start afresh! Start small! You are now experienced; Boost your energy and self-image by starting small again.
The above conclusions were the recommendations after my self-conversations. They became my positive thought strategies. Today I have managed to create a thought equilibrium. I am now working toward improving my self-image and self-esteem. I am enjoying a positive thought-driven life. I have no room for negative thoughts in me and I am working out to help those who may be suffering from negativity in life. It is very possible to be happy again. Get in touch.
About the Author
Fostine Opiyo Odhiambo is the Founder of Jo Africa Online, an Independent HR Consultant and Author. He has written a number of articles and contributed to numerous professional writings and books globally. He has a wealth of experience in the management of various family-owned businesses, industries, and projects that include hospitality, communications, manufacturing, production, merchandising, Maritime, Casinos, Entertainment, Education, Agribusiness, and Healthcare sectors as well as NGOs and community-based projects within Africa. His core areas in Human Resource Management include Policy Development, Talent Management, HR Documentation, and Developing Work Systems. Working with people is his passion. He advocates for professionalism, Honest Human Resource Practices, Data-driven decisions, and happy minds. He has developed AKOBRA Model as a fit between employers and their employees. He is a Certified HR Practitioner in Kenya. Currently, he works as the Human Resource Manager for Village Hopecore International – a Non-Governmental Organization with roots in Kenya and USA. He also serves as the Director of Happy Minds Academy where he strengthens individuals and organizations to develop a happy mindset. You can reach him through fostineodhiambo@gmail.com