The aftermath of the Covid 19 pandemic has led to many regrets in the lives of the majority. Many people lost their jobs, people were unable to service their loans, pay their rents. Many people lost their friends, families, businesses were closed, and things turned upside down. People started developing stress and depression. The resilience levels dropped to zero. Many started thinking negatively leading to failures, focus redirection, and uncounted regrets.
People have started to feel relieved though things are yet to recover fully. Many still face the challenges and some are now at a point where they only see darkness in their lives. They ask themselves ‘Why me’. They have lost hope. You may be one of the people who have reached this point in life. Today I have good news for you. There is still a second, third, or fourth chance in life. You can start over again. You can learn to start walking again just like a little baby. You will crawl, try to stand, be steadfast and try to make some steps before you realize you can walk well and then run. This is very possible when you notice the start line. Learning to forgive yourself.
The challenges we face today at a great angle is a result of our own decision. We can try to shift our blames or failures to different factors but the key factor is ourselves. How we responded to the challenges we faced, the decisions we made, the selfishness in us, the unhealthy activities that we involved ourselves in thinking things will continue to be right, lack self-oversight in our spending, conversations, and relations. All these factors may have led you to where you are now. Nevertheless, it is time to learn to forgive yourself. I learned this and am currently experiencing a positive change in me. I am reinventing my life each second. I believe you too can start now.
Ask yourself what went wrong, where, and when you started redirecting your life focus. Pick some lessons from it. Learn to forgive yourself for the decisions you made, forgive yourself for the wrong choice of friends, forgive yourself for not being able to identify who your real family members are, forgive yourself for not understanding the relatives and family relationship boundaries. Learn to forgive yourself first even if the course may be external. Let the forgiveness start with you. Take your time, breathe deeply and pronounce boldly. I have forgiven myself. I can crawl again! I can start from somewhere until that time I will be able to walk and eventually run.
To begin again you must be filled with optimism and create that power to make the right choices. Be happy about who you are and the ability in you. Identify why you still exist and are able to read this article. Be real to yourself and learn to make your own choices. Continue to forgive yourself for any challenges you notice on your way to reclaiming your lost glory.
Why learn self-forgiveness?
It enables you to start from somewhere as you strive to reach the newly identified finish line. It opens a second, third, or fourth chance in yourself. Do not wait for people or opportunities to present themselves as a second chance. That chance relies on you alone. Grab it! The chance may be in your talent that you are not utilizing, it may be in the fear of the unknown not to crawl again. It may be in your weakness that you can turn to be your strengths right away. Not all is lost. Your future is full of potential.
Self-forgiveness will help you to accept your current situation. Did you know that failure is not discriminatory! It offers a platform to learn, re-pick, and repack yourself again. Do what is right, the right way at the right time. Do not give up. Try once more and learn to forgive yourself.
What helped me?
The Self–Forgiveness Process I created after long thought and consideration when I noticed that things are not working well for me:
- I changed my mind set: From negative thinking to positive thinking.
- Re-evaluated myself: Identified what, where and when I started to drop my energy. Picked some lessons, recorded down and matched them with something real and positive.
- I listed all the messes I have done in life and listed all the good things I have done in life. Then created a life trial balance.
- I projected my worth and compared what I have achieved so far in life then identified the positive gap to enable me strive from a crawling point.
- Noticed the gaps and came to my senses that I have not utilized my talents and gifts that God gave me. I noticed that I am underutilizing my skills, abilities and knowledge.
- Forgave myself for not utilizing my full potential and refocused my energies on the identified potentials
- Started bit by bit to unleash my potential. Believing on the baby model – Crawling, Pulling up, Making first step, walking and Running.
The self-forgiveness process has enabled me to progress in all life spheres. I have totally changed and I am noticing changes in my mental wellness, emotional wellness, social wellness, spiritual wellness, environmental wellness, and physical wellness. I am coming to the reality of my own personal self. I do things differently. I am choosing my friends wisely; I draw life and family boundaries well. I deliver my work perfectly. I have learned to say No when necessary. Concisely, I feel psychologically contented after learning self-forgiveness. It is very possible. Try it today. You can still be happy. You can still smile and achieve more. Learn to forgive yourself.
About the Author
Fostine Opiyo Odhiambo is the Founder of Jo Africa Online, an Independent HR Consultant, and Author. He has written a number of articles and contributed to numerous professional writings and books globally. He has a wealth of experience in the management of various family-owned businesses, industries, and projects that include hospitality, communications, manufacturing, production, merchandising, Maritime, Casinos, Entertainment, Education, Agribusiness, and Healthcare sectors as well as NGOs and community-based projects within Africa. His core areas in Human Resource Management include Policy Development, Talent Management, HR Documentation, and Developing Work Systems. Working with people is his passion. He advocates for professionalism, Honest Human Resource Practices, Data-driven decisions, and happy minds. He has developed AKOBRA Model as a fit between employer and its employees. He is a Certified HR Practitioner in Kenya. Currently, he works as the Human Resource Manager for Village Hopecore International – a Non-Governmental Organization. You can reach him through fostineodhiambo@gmail.com